You funfans ready for WrestleMania 34?
Keep it locked in here all night for the latest match results and reactions as Brock fights Roman, AJ battles Shinsuke, Asuka takes on Charlotte, Ronda Rousey debuts, and Daniel Bryan makes his triumphant return to the ring!
I’ll be live-bloggin’ all the action here (so bookmark, por favor) as well as live-tweeting over at @TheMattFowler (so follow, pretty please), keeping everyone up to date on all the hot happenings – for the next seven hours (sweet fancy moses).
And here we go!
That was a fun appetizer. Not too salty, not too sweet. Bray Wyatt came out in the final moments when Matt Hardy was facing down former winners Mojo Rawley and Baron Corbin and then after helping Matt win the trophy they hugged it out and are now the bestest of best friends! YAAAAAAAAY!
Bray didn’t change up his gimmick (some were expecting a rebirth as a different sort of character) but he did basically turn babyface and unite with Matt, creating some crazy poses and awesome potential.
Other spots were fun too: The Revival trying to win the bout as a team, Ziggler’s constant close calls, Goldust (with Dusty Dots!) tricking, and then eliminating, R-Truth, Mojo launching himself into Ryder mid-Broski Boot – again, this was exactly what it was supposed to be. Just good old fashioned empty carbs.
It should also be mentioned that John Cena is, in fact, in the crowd. I assume he’ll be there all through the Kickoff Show, but how long do they have him sit there before his Undertaker deal? I hope it’s all seven hours. And then he has to sweep up Roman confetti afterwards.
Winner: Broken/Woken Matt Hardy
To be fair, the Cruiserweight style isn’t built for venues and crowds this big, but these two – the heart and soul, respectively, of 205 Live – did a fine job. Watching them do their thing out there and you just felt really great that these two got to shine in a spotlight this big.
I won’t say this was the best match they could have delivered, but I was still a solid outing and one befitting a pre-show crowd (with not that many empty seats to be honest). Mustafa Ali hit his finisher but Alexander got his foot on the rope, allowing him to eventually recover and nail the Lumbar Check.
Winner, and new WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Cedric Alexander
Well, that was a surprise ending and an easy way to not have to choose between Sasha and Bayley. A nice warm win for Naomi, who took advantage of a false elimination to swoop in right at the end and toss out Bayley.
Right before that though, this one came down to those two aforementioned “Horsewomen” and it was Bayley who finally found her mean streak and threw Sasha out during what seemed to be a handshake/hug. It still wasn’t a full bad gal turn though. It’s becoming more clear that no one’s really going to be the face or heel in this Sasha/Bayley angle and here their focus on one another allowed for someone else to soar overtop and become the first WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal (who wasn’t Santino in awful drag).
Nice showing by the six NXT ladies too – that’d be Kairi Sane, Dakota Kai, Peyton Royce, Bianca Belair, Kavita Devi and Taynara Conti!
While most of us thought the AJ/Nakamura or the Daniel Bryan match would open the show, this was still a sturdy quality opening bout. Miz was all business, with his Luna Lovegood glasses and Naruto-ish headband, telling the Miztourage to go in the back. Seth got came out all frosty with White Walker-blue contacts. Finn had a wonderful warming LGBT squad cheer him on to the ring. It’s was strong pageant-filled opener.
And the action came fast, with each man at the top of their game. A huge high point came when Seth jumped up for a springboard but Miz caught him for a flying top-rope Skullcrushing Finale – but then Finn broke up the pin with a Coup de Gras!
It was Seth who’d come out on top at the end with two Curb Stomps, the second one nailing Miz for the pin and win.
Winner, and new Intercontinental Champion: Seth Rollins
“CHARLOTTE…WAS READY FOR ASUKA!”
Welp. It looks like New Orleans ate another historic streak for breakfast. I’m bummed, y’all. But I also defer to a tweet of mine from a few days ago…
Other thought: You all know how much I love Asuka and her streak. I’d be totally cool with Charlotte beating her and being the one to end it. Way more than waiting for Rousey learn to look good enough in the ring to make her ending it look good and legit.
— Matt Fowler (@TheMattFowler) March 31, 2018
This match was hot hot hot. I’m super bummed because I’m the galaxy’s biggest Asuka mark, but damn these women delivered. And I’m happy Charlotte’s the woman who beat her and not Rousey, even if it would have meant Asuka holding her streak for longer.
The crowd is on fire, the show is great so far and I’m riding a high that’s not letting me get too worked up over the finish. These two almost killed each other. And this spot was amazing…
Way to go, Charlotte. Asuka tapped out to the Figure Eight after a brutal bout. I’ll probably be angrier about this later, but right now I’m comfortably numb.
By the way, the ref just told John Cena that Undertaker is here and so that’s what we’ll all be thinking about during the U.S. title match.
Winner, and still SmackDown Women’s Champion: Charlotte Flair
Not only did this Fatal Fourway become the first match of the night we only sort of half-payed attention to because we’re thinking about Cena vs. Undertaker, but it was my first correct match prediction of the night! I think!
Rusev should have won here, due to the fact that the Rusev Day chants are this year’s “YES!” chants (the “YES!” chants are also the “YES!” chants by the way), but WWE doesn’t particularly, or automatically, support wonderful ironic crowd-created things that they didn’t purposefully sprout themselves.
Anyhow, this one was okay. Nowhere near as great as the first two bouts, but fine. Jinder took the win here, proving Opposite Momentum to be scientifically correct and accurate and right. Of course though, he pinned Rusev. Lolz for days.
Winner, and new U.S. Champion: Jinder Mahal