WWE’s Royal Rumble pay-per-view is right around the corner – on Sunday, January 28th – and so before the event becomes one for the record books I thought we’d could all run through the card together, like a loving family, and speculate as to who’s going to win.
There are rumors in the wind and rustling in the bushes that make this Rumble even more of a grab bag than usual, but at least the betting odds haven’t mysteriously shot up for Randy Orton, right? Remember last year? Yeah, that was less than ideal. Let’s hope his RKOs stay outta “outta nowhere.”
Yup, after careful consideration and hours of internet probing…
…I’ve confidently crafted a list of match outcomes that I think will occur. It’s a long PPV, but with the two Rumble matches taking up the bulk of it, we’re actually left with a fairly tight card. It’s all Rumbles and title matches. No filler, really. So let’s – like so many DX entrances of years past – break it down!
Also, I’ve incorporated, as usual, the super scientific “Opposite Momentum” method into my madness. It’s the theory/rule that states whoever comes out on top at the TV taping before the PPV will lose the PPV match. It’s 83-85% accurate.
Raw Tag Team Champions Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan vs. Cesaro & Sheamus
Jason Jordan’s been killing it as the nefariously obtuse heel of his uneasy alliance team. Admittedly, maybe he’s been getting a bit too much screen time (usually the first 40 minutes of RAW) but you can’t argue he hasn’t been making the most if it. Now he and Seth have to prove that their title win was more than an upset by facing former champs The Bar. This past RAW, Seth accidentally kneed Jason in the mouth so opposite momentum – which is super scientific – states they’re still going over on Sunday.
Predicted Winners: Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan
SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Usos vs. Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin (2-out-of-3-Falls Match)
Benjamin and Gable have been awesome foils for The Usos over the past few months and the fake-out win they got over the brothers on SmackDown Live a few weeks back really helped ramp up their feud. But, with this 2 out of 3 Falls stipulation, reigning champs the Usos are the most likely to go over. Especially with Gable getting that singles win over Jey this week.
Predicted Winners: The Usos
WWE Champion AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
I realize I’m probably going to predict that all the champs retain their titles – which is kind of boring and also an indicator that most of my predictions are bulls***, but…AJ has to win this one, right?
Firstly, this entire storyline – with Owens, Zayn, Shane, and Bryan – has been a clusterfart for weeks. Why is AJ fighting two men again in a “Handicap Match” again? What was Bryan actually countering, rebelling against, when he made this match? Also, is WWE really about to go all-in on its first ever CO-HOLDERS of the WWE World Championship? Plus, AJ’s been losing to these guys for a month in singles competition. Also, isn’t Owens reportedly still nursing an injury? I dunno. It’s just too weird a match for there to be a title change.
Predicted Winner: AJ Styles
Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman vs. Kane
The prevailing idea here, and it’s been this way for almost half a year, is that it’s going to be Roman vs. Brock at WrestleMania 34 – with Roman going over and winning the Universal Championship.
For that to happen, Brock has to win this. And he’s got an easy out – an out who goes by the name of Kane. Most likely, whoever wins here, be it Brock or Braun, Kane loses. But does WWE really want Braun to keep failing in his attempts to dethrone Brock? This would make attempt number three and it’s not shaping up/shaking out to be “the charm.” Dammit, I really want to predict Braun as the surprise winner. But this isn’t about what we want. Wrestling rarely ever is, right? [cries until dies]
Predicted Winner: Brock Lesnar
Men’s Royal Rumble Match
Sure, the Rumble’s got 30 men but we all know only a furious few have a real chance at winning, given the feasible various WrestleMania title matches that can be created. Roman could win and challenge Brock (or Braun). Philly would hate it, but when has that ever thwarted the booking?
I will say though, if Roman IS slated to win the Men’s Rumble Match better open the show.
Cena could win and use his “shot” to challenge Undertaker. More likely though is that Undertaker gets involved and costs him the match. Or just shows up to to stare at him. Or he doesn’t show up at all and they keep Cena in a program with Elias through the next PPV.
The SmackDown Live scenario has Nakamura challenging AJ Styles and I think fans would be happy with that – though it would take a confidence in Nakamura that might not be present anymore. Another rumor has Balor winning and challenging Styles, giving us all a big Bullet Club angle for ‘Mania, but they’re on separate brands. Still, perhaps he could cross-challenge?
Should I even bring up the possibility of Daniel Bryan winning the Rumble? Probably not.
Keep in mind too, this list isn’t considering guys who might be in other matches on the PPV entering the Rumble. Like, can Braun be in both the Brock/Kane match AND the Rumble? If AJ Styles loses his title to Owens and Zayn, could he pop up in the Rumble? Anything is possible (but nothing is real). So with no real opposite momentum to analyze here…
Superstars Who Could Win the Men’s Royal Rumble: Roman Reigns, Shinsuke Nakamura, Finn Balor, John Cena
Predicted Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura
Women’s Royal Rumble Match
Y’all know me. I really really REALLY want Asuka to win. But opposite momentum is working against her big time given the way she tossed everyone out of the ring on RAW 25 this past week. And now that Ronda Rousey has stated that she won’t be at the Rumble, there’s a huge chance that – yes – she’ll be at the Rumble (like she can’t lie about wrestling, c’mon). A Rousey appearance would work against an Asuka win.
Also, Stephanie McMahon will be at ringside doing commentary so the (garbage and unwise) likelihood of her being #30 in the Rumble just shot up a thousand percent.
Believe me, I want to be wrong here but if I have to choose someone other than Asuka, I’m going Nia Jax. She deserves it and it would finally pit her against BFF Alexa Bliss. Also, with Enzo Amore now fired, her main storyline is gone and she can invest fully in the title picture.
Superstars Who Could Win the Women’s Royal Rumble: Asuka, Nia Jax, Ronda Rousey, Stephanie McMahon, Becky Lynch, “Surprise Call Up/Debut”
Predicted Winner: Nia Jax
Who do you think will come out on top at the Royal Rumble this Sunday? What are some of your predictions? Let us know down below…